Cele|bitchy | Harry Styles on his sexuality: ‘It doesn’t matter & it’s about not having to label everything’

2022-05-28 07:02:05 By : Ms. Snowen Zhang

This is completely charming. Harry Styles decided to appear on the cover of the June issue of Better Homes & Gardens. BH&G usually doesn’t have big celebrity covers, but considering his new album is called Harry’s House, I would assume someone thought this would be clever cross-promotion. It’s adorable! The magazine’s profile of Harry reads like a standard celebrity profile, the kind of thing you would read in Vogue or GQ. Some highlights:

He loves cold-water swimming: “I feel like people who have discovered cold water swimming are just so happy for you that you’ve also found it.”

Why ‘Harry’s House’: “I realized that that home feeling isn’t something that you get from a house; it’s more of an internal thing. You realize that when you stop for a minute.”

Pandemic navel-gazing: “I think everyone went through a big moment of self-reflection, a lot of navel-gazing, and I don’t know if there’s anything more navel-gazing than making an album. It’s so self-absorbed.”

How is he so sane & productive? “My producer keeps asking me when I’m going to have my big breakdown. The most honest version I can think of is, I didn’t grow up in poverty by any means, but we didn’t have much money, and I had an expectation of what I could achieve in life. I feel like everything else has been a bonus, and I am so lucky.”

Ashamed about his sex life: “For a long time, it felt like the only thing that was mine was my sex life. I felt so ashamed about it, ashamed at the idea of people even knowing that I was having sex, let alone who with… At the time [during 1D], there were still the kiss-and-tell things. Working out who I could trust was stressful. But I think I got to a place where I was like, why do I feel ashamed? I’m a 26-year-old man who’s single; it’s like, yes, I have sex.”

He’s been thinking a lot about celebrity & privacy: “I think we’re in a moment of reflection. You look back, especially now there’s all the documentaries, like the Britney documentary, and you watch how people were abused in that way, by that system, especially women. You recall articles from not even five years ago, and you’re like, I can’t even believe that was written.”

He thinks it’s “outdated” to ask him how he defines his sexuality: “I’ve been really open with it with my friends, but that’s my personal experience; it’s mine. The whole point of where we should be heading, which is toward accepting everybody and being more open, is that it doesn’t matter, and it’s about not having to label everything, not having to clarify what boxes you’re checking.”

He comes across as a genuinely nice guy, honestly. I’ve always appreciated that Harry doesn’t explain his sexuality or why he wears pearls, corsets, lace and dresses. He just… does it and shrugs and keeps living his life. When he talks about working out who he could trust and the kiss-and-tell stuff, my mind immediately went to the Taylor Swift mess, but honestly, the British media had a field day with all of Harry’s hookups back in the day. He had a thing, for a time, for older women, and those relationships or flings were always splashed across the British tabloids. I think getting some distance from England really helped him figure out some things too – he seems to spend more time in America these days, plus he’s back on tour, so all of that means less time within the confines of Salt Island and their crazy tabloid culture.

Cover courtesy of BH&G, additional photos courtesy of Avalon Red. LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 14: Harry Styles attends the 63rd Annual GRAMMY Awards at Los Angeles Convention Center on March 14, 2021 in Los Angeles, California. *** Local Caption *** LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 14: Harry Styles attends the 63rd Annual GRAMMY Awards at Los Angeles Convention Center on March 14, 2021 in Los Angeles, California.,Image: 597617563, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: ED / LS / Avalon LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: In this image released on March 14, Harry Styles performs onstage during the 63rd Annual GRAMMY Awards at Los Angeles Convention Center in Los Angeles, California and broadcast on March 14, 2021. *** Local Caption *** LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: In this image released on March 14, Harry Styles performs onstage during the 63rd Annual GRAMMY Awards at Los Angeles Convention Center in Los Angeles, California and broadcast on March 14, 2021.,Image: 597619102, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: pb / PL / Avalon LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 14: Harry Styles accepts the Best Pop Solo Performance award for ‘Watermelon Sugar’ onstage during the 63rd Annual GRAMMY Awards at Los Angeles Convention Center on March 14, 2021 in Los Angeles, California. *** Local Caption *** LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 14: Harry Styles accepts the Best Pop Solo Performance award for ‘Watermelon Sugar’ onstage during the 63rd Annual GRAMMY Awards at Los Angeles Convention Center on March 14, 2021 in Los Angeles, California.,Image: 597619585, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: ED / CC / Avalon Will Packer and Shayla Cowan arrive on the red carpet of the 94th Oscars® at the Dolby Theatre at Ovation Hollywood in Los Angeles, CA, on Sunday, March 27, 2022.,Image: 673482591, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: ©A.M.P.A.S. All rights reserved., Model Release: no, Credit line: Michael Baker / Avalon

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You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. 65 Responses to “Harry Styles on his sexuality: ‘It doesn’t matter & it’s about not having to label everything’” Katie Beanstalk says: May 22, 2022 at 8:27 am Harry has a big gay following so that creates that kind of interest. Reply Moxylady says: May 22, 2022 at 1:04 pm I was feeling very confused about my gender identity and like I needed to figure it out. When before I had always been happy just being me. And one day I was just driving and thinking and all the sudden I thought – Harry would accept me just the way I am. And that legitimately changed everything. Because if Harry can I can. And not having anything concrete is ok. This was months ago and I’m just as content as when it first hit me. So thank you Harry Styles. Reply SomeChick says: May 22, 2022 at 2:25 pm aww, I love this! it’s true, you don’t have to pick a label. just be you & be awesome. = ) stagaroni says: May 22, 2022 at 5:11 pm @Moxylady, It must be exhausting with all of the labels there today. I’m very proud of you, Moxylady. You deserve to be happy with no boundaries placed upon you. Cara says: May 22, 2022 at 7:45 pm That is so great!! I have a feeling Harry would love that! ❤️❤️ Lindsey Ward says: May 22, 2022 at 11:06 pm Love that for you! That’s why it’s so important that he’s open about he feels! Moxylady says: May 23, 2022 at 8:30 pm Thank you everyone. I have never had a celebrity effect me personally in this way before. It’s strange. But really really good. Snuffles says: May 22, 2022 at 8:32 am “ I think getting some distance from England really helped him figure out some things too – he seems to spend more time in America these days” England keeps losing all the best Harry’s! You can 100% blame the tabloid culture. Reply Orangeowl says: May 22, 2022 at 8:36 am He seems remarkably grounded. I loved what he said about all the success and money being a bonus beyond his expectations. It’s refreshing compared to people who seem to be constantly hustling for more, more, more instead of simply appreciating and enjoying it in the moment. Reply Wiglet Watcher says: May 22, 2022 at 8:44 am When you have a ton of money it goes 2 ways. You are either way out there as a try hard and flaunting or you come across as grounded because nothing penetrates your bubble of privilege. And Harry hustles. You never stop. He just does it from a better marketing angle imo. Coming off “relatable” sells more than coming off “elite.” Reply Lucy says: May 22, 2022 at 10:55 am Or…he’s just maturing into a down to earth guy. Likely a combo of all of it. Wiglet Watcher says: May 22, 2022 at 5:37 pm Maybe, but the same way the average person matures is not the same way the rich or famous mature. This has been studied. The bubble of privilege is real. And many, many times a person stops or slows maturing at the age they become famous. I’m sure he’s self aware for a 20something. Thinking says: May 22, 2022 at 6:49 pm I think he hustles because he has the opportunity to do so. If the chances are there, you might as well take them. I do believe him when he says everything is a bonus. He started off on a tv show with a bunch of aspiring boy-banders. He probably didn’t expect to be this successful. I know I’m surprised by it. Or that he’s with Olivia Wilde. Julia K says: May 22, 2022 at 8:47 am A big yes to let’s quit hanging labels on people. People change, age, evolve and labels just complicate the process. Reply Wiglet Watcher says: May 22, 2022 at 9:32 am I hang no labels. I understand some do and others feel an obligation to address it for reasons, but many times I wonder if it’s for educational purposes or self promotion. Usually the lines are clear and almost always it’s none of my business. I don’t know why Harry feels a need to address this as he does, but it feels like self promotion to be inclusive to his fan bases. Reply Julia K says: May 22, 2022 at 10:52 am @ Wiglet Watcher, sorry if I seemed to be answering your comment. I was answering in response to his comment in the post. Did not intend to be offensive to you. Wiglet Watcher says: May 22, 2022 at 5:39 pm Julia k I can’t see a comment where you were offensive at all☺️ Jules says: May 22, 2022 at 11:15 am Yea it’s not just the labels, but the overly performative, it’s all about ME-ness of declaring every minute detail of one’s life online. Reply Mustang Sally says: May 22, 2022 at 7:57 pm Joan Jett has been saying this for years; she refuses to be defined by her sexuality and does not (and never has) discussed it – she feels the issue would become more about her instead of her music. He’s smart – he’s doing the same thing. Good for him – some things are ok to be private to you. He’s learned that just because he’s famous, he does not have to put it all out on the table. Reply Cinnamon says: May 22, 2022 at 8:52 am I always find the privacy conversation tricky when it comes to these artists that sell their private life through their songs. It’s not that I deny anyone who ever put a clue in their song the right to privacy or that I cannot understand that they have a desire to control which parts are open to the public. The problem I have is that he is so willing to put his partners’ business on display in his songs and I always think to myself that he should have a more nuanced view on that given his own experiences. Particularly because at least he makes money from his music but what do the girls get except for hate from his crazy fans? Reply Eurydice says: May 22, 2022 at 9:06 am Yes, it’s something I think of as the cruelty of the artist. Doesn’t matter what kind of artist – everything and everybody that touches their lives becomes fuel for their art. It’s natural – you’re inspired by what’s around you – but, artists put their art first. I suppose if they didn’t we wouldn’t have art. Reply Hel says: May 22, 2022 at 9:35 am There is an Agatha Christie’s book “the Hollow” that touches on this theme. I always find it fascinating. Twin Falls says: May 22, 2022 at 9:09 am I’m a brand new Harry Style’s fan. I love his new album and he does seem like a nice, interesting guy. I don’t care if it’s an act although I don’t think it is. Too many people are out there being complete jerk-offs right now. I love his thoughtful/playful/inclusive energy. Reply Otaku fairy says: May 22, 2022 at 4:04 pm “Too many people are out there being complete jerk-offs right now.” So true; it’s right under and over our noses too. Don’t Say Gay biddies run all over the place online and off, looking for LGBTQ discussions to center themselves in with performative punching down. The meh meh meness of making those conversations all about the pronouns, queer imagery, and queer experiences their heterosexual ears are tired of hearing about is so illogical when there are outlets for that bigotry. Dear diary. Dear church stall. Dear kleenex. Dear stepdaughter’s discarded kotex pack. Something. Hell, they could even take their unwanted, freshly-washed-as-of-last-Monday- legs and everything else to a therapist’s office and ask for help to work on all that hate. But instead they’d rather troll queer and liberal spaces, manipulate curriculums, ban books, and weaponize the government. We’re coming up on pride month too, so they’d better get used to it. Reply Agreatreckoning says: May 22, 2022 at 8:13 pm I’m with you a @Twin Falls. Not overly familiar with his music. Know some. He seems like a fun guy that has no problem being inclusive to everyone. I don’t get the feeling it’s an act. He seems to send out the genuine vibe of I’ll be me, you be you. We’re good unless you’re an @sshole. Reply HeyKay says: May 22, 2022 at 9:29 am I enjoy his music. He has a few happy, bouncy songs I really like. Don’t care about his sex life, his PR image. Glad to see he is doing well, most boy bander members careers end with their band. He seems to be having a good run, his new vinyle #3, Harrys House is getting good reviews. Reply North of Boston says: May 22, 2022 at 9:30 am Good point! If someone is being performative to sell themselves l, their image, I’d much rather performative inclusiveness than performative divisiveness. It at least moves the needle of “norms” in a better direction. Reply Amy Too says: May 22, 2022 at 9:31 am He seems like a good role model/spokesperson for Gen Z and beyond, normalizing all sorts of different fashion choices and the fact that the fashion doesn’t has to match your gender or sexuality label and the fact that you don’t even have to claim out loud to the world a certain label, you might not even have a label for yourself in private. Let people wear and do what they want to do. I feel like we’ve come a bit of a way with “allowing” those who have certain labels to wear certain things—like “oh that person is gay or gender fluid so they’re allowed to wear crop tops or girly outfits sometimes”—but it would be great if we could get to a place where 1) anyone can wear whatever they want and we don’t assume that someone we have known as a cis boy his whole life wearing a feminine blouse *must be* either gay or trans and *can’t be* straight or cis, and 2) where wearing something nontraditional doesn’t lead to people asking you to justify why you’re doing that by publicly labeling yourself so that they can understand it. I like the idea that gender and sexuality being fluid is something that we will accept as normal for all people and not just certain people who need to claim that up front and have a specific label they can be identified with. Reply Juju says: May 22, 2022 at 10:54 am Amy Too: your comment is spot on!! I 100% agree. Labels can be helpful for some people to express how they see themselves but the expectation shouldn’t be that everyone has to have a label. Reply Soapboxpudding says: May 22, 2022 at 11:06 am 100% this. My hope is we as a society move beyond labels to just doing and being. Reply Valerie says: May 22, 2022 at 12:45 pm Exactly what i said! I hope my comment gets posted, even though it’s kind of long. I see this whole thing as being perpetuated by people who don’t know their history. They’re so obsessed with labeling everything, that anything and anyone that they can’t name is perceived as a threat and something to be cast out. It’s very 1960s. We don’t have to know for sure if someone is gay or straight or what gender they identify as. It’s none of our business, even if they get up on stage in a dress and high heels and wave the pride flag around. All I care about is whether his words line up with his actions. They appear to, and that’s good enough for me. Reply Otaku fairy says: May 22, 2022 at 4:11 pm So true. Abby says: May 23, 2022 at 1:24 pm Agree. Reply Mimi says: May 22, 2022 at 9:40 am A very privileged stance for someone who has chosen to only publicly date thin, blobd white women. I wish his former bandmate, Niall Horan, who makes superior music and seems to be a much more authentic human being, received the acclaim and success that has been undeservedly bestowed on Harry. Reply Jan says: May 22, 2022 at 10:10 am Is he not dating a women with two children? Reply Wiglet Watcher says: May 22, 2022 at 5:44 pm A thin, blonde, wealthy white woman with 2 young children that have care. Having children does not really change his pattern. It is a bit weird she was his boss, sought him out to employ him under her as her love interest and then they start dating as her other relationship ended. If a man did this… it would be a field day. SophieJara says: May 22, 2022 at 12:10 pm I recommend the excellent poet and fashion icon Alok V Menon on Instagram for people who are interested in someone working to center Black and Brown and enby / trans and people of different bodies / abilities in the gender non conforming space. And by center Alok often means – paid opportunities for work and efforts to increase their safety and joy. Reply Call Me Mabel says: May 22, 2022 at 4:47 pm Slow Hands by Niall is a bop. I prefer his music to Harry’s but Harry is the one putting himself out there as a progressive voice and personality more than a musician. It’s a bit Lennon and McCartney post-Beatles, no? Reply Veruca Salty says: May 23, 2022 at 7:57 am Niall’s second album “Heartbreak Weather” is SO GOOD. It deserved so much more attention and praise than it got. Niall is the better singer but Harry’s got better PR. And I say this as a huge HS fan… Reply Mrs. Smith says: May 22, 2022 at 10:00 am I’m an old and audibly gasped when my new issue of BH&G arrived with HARRY on the cover! My youthful fan girl was still there, buried under decades of jaded gristle. What a joy! Anyway, one part of his profile I found interesting was that he says he’s always been on the go, on tour, making music, and so he’s never had to have any “difficult conversations” with partners/friends. IDK, those conversations have been, at least to me, among the hardest, saddest and sometimes most joyous moments in life. I’m curious to see what he does 10 or 20 years from now and how that changes his music. Reply Honey says: May 22, 2022 at 10:12 am I like Harry’s brand a lot and he probably has some savvy PR folks to “curate” said brand. He can appeal to the older folks as a soldier in a WW2 movie (Dunkirk) and to young people with his clothing/jewelry choices and ambiguous sexuality — and even us middle-aged folks who can bop around to his music. The Olivia Wilde relationship is a head-scrather, but he seems to be a grounded, multi-faceted performer with whom a diverse public can identify. Reply KBeth says: May 22, 2022 at 11:03 am He seems like a good guy. Not seeing the sex appeal though. Reply J. Ferber says: May 22, 2022 at 11:57 am I want to say this delicately. With all the “don’t label me” and the cool clothing choices, would it ever be okay for him and his management to see him on a date with another guy? I’m not sure if he’s done that already, so don’t come after me! Reply Valerie says: May 22, 2022 at 12:36 pm Why? So he could prove his sexuality to a bunch of people who most likely wouldn’t believe him anyway? I don’t see that there’s a clear solution here, and it’s because those demanding proof have roiled the waters so much, so that even if he did step out with another man, it would hardly mean anything. He would still be accused of pandering and queerbaiting. Reply Valerie says: May 22, 2022 at 12:31 pm This return to demanding full disclosure is really disturbing. We don’t need to be going backwards here. I don’t like to pin things on entire generations, but in this case, it is mostly younger people (younger millennials and Gen Zers) who seem intent on forcing people to come out or to publicly define themselves. I don’t think that they understand that they’re upholding a dangerous tradition. Why do we continue to conflate outward appearance with sexuality, and then decry labels and discrimination? Why box people in and accept or shun them based on their ability to fulfill a specific and ever-narrowing set of criteria? Why wonder why coming out is still so difficult for people, regardless of their privilege and profession? If Harry is straight and wants to wear a dress and paint his nails (and date women), he should be able to without being accused of “tricking us.” If he is not straight, he should not be harassed into coming out. I have a feeling that even if made an announcement tomorrow, he would be branded a liar and a PR hound. Or he wouldn’t be “gay enough.” Or he’d be subject to biphobia. Or they’d be mad that he stayed in the closet for so long. The list goes on. The guy can’t win. Reply Valerie says: May 22, 2022 at 12:51 pm *subjected to. Hurray for suffixes 😂 Reply Ivy says: May 22, 2022 at 2:42 pm A big yes to all you say here. As an “old,” I find Harry absolutely so refreshing and lovely (and talented). My kiddo, who is 12 and non-binary, also loves Harry, and I am delighted they have such a positive role model to enjoy. We could argue all day about whether he’s truly being authentic or if it’s a PR put-on to appeal to everyone, but you know what? Who cares? I think what Harry says about sexuality is spot on. Is it simplistic to say it doesn’t matter and that we should all just be ourselves? Yep. And what’s sad about that is that such simple ideas are STILL such a challenge. He seems to get a lot of sh*t for doing things others have done before him, but I think it’s telling that people are still so worked up about it. Just proves we as a society have so much more work to do. And I agree with you about how at this point Harry just can’t win. Honestly, the best thing to do is just preserve his privacy as best he can and enjoy life. There’s simply no pleasing everyone when it comes to this, and the bigger point is that he shouldn’t have to. Reply Valerie says: May 23, 2022 at 1:00 pm Yeah, I really like him! I’m too old (lol) to have been into 1D, and I think it’s mainly the people who were their target audience at the time are the ones who are criticizing him now. It’s weird, because they should realize that his boy band image was highly controlled, and he couldn’t say or do or wear what he wanted to. And he was like, 16! Of course he’s going to change in his twenties. He’s almost 30. I don’t know why his growing up is taken as a PR tactic. Doing the opposite and staying the same would be! Ipetgoat2 says: May 22, 2022 at 4:06 pm Valerie, I agree, I’m just wondering why you think genz and millennials (I’m a very young millennial myself) think that way? That’s not the case at all. Reactive forces in our generations? Certainly! But not the majority of us. Would you mind explaining? Reply Valerie says: May 23, 2022 at 12:51 pm Not all of them! I said mostly. I’m 34, so I’m a millennial myself. The people I see accusing him of queerbaiting (please find a new word!) are usually my age or younger. His older fans, who are 40-50+, tend to not make comments to that effect. Thinking says: May 22, 2022 at 7:01 pm To be honest, I had zero idea he was considered fluid. Because he was dating women, I just assumed he was straight. None of what he wears factored into it for me. I just went by who I see him dating. It’s a bit of a shock to me that assuming he was straight was considered the wrong assumption to make. Reply Valerie says: May 23, 2022 at 12:56 pm I don’t think it’s really the wrong assumption to make! He might be a straight guy who loves fashion and playing with gender norms. His detractors are under the impression that gender presentation and sexual preference always go hand-in-hand, which is wrong and surprising to me. They’re usually the biggest champions of fluidity on all fronts. But when it comes to him, his “silence” equals queerbaiting. So weird. MangoAngelesque says: May 22, 2022 at 4:08 pm “He had a thing, for a time, for older women…” He still does. Olivia is 10 years older than him. They’d be considered gross by a lot of people if their roles were reversed, much like Kim and Pete. Reply LIONE says: May 22, 2022 at 5:39 pm He always comes off a bit….bland. It’s like he doesn’t really have any opinions on his own, and the ones he has are all very well “curated”. Superficial, simplistic, “correct”. Might be because he hasn’t been through a lot of hardship in his life, he sounds like he’s been coasting through life, and therefore never had to do the deep, hard soul searching that comes with real life struggles. He, or his work, doesn’t really do anything for me personally. Doesn’t excite me and doesn’t provoke me. It’s all…meh.. He says words in interviews with cute photos that are very trendy and a bit detached, and he never really shows you who he is in the depth of himself. Not even through his songs. He’s just there. Still coasting trough life. Good for him, I guess. But a bit boring. Lacking in soul and intellect. A bit robotic in a strange way. Lol Reply Wiglet Watcher says: May 22, 2022 at 5:58 pm I agree with this comment. I do like some of his songs. They’re perfect, sugary pop music for driving alone. Good names want to work with him. He can take his pick so his career won’t be slowing down for a little. When it comes to his sexuality and how he dresses I think back to Billy Porter and how he comes off as genuine while Harry sounds like he’s selling me an image. I wish him well. Reply Thinking says: May 22, 2022 at 6:56 pm I think he is a little bland but I also think that’s why he’s popular. If he were extremely unique, I don’t think he’d have mass appeal to so many different age ranges. One thing I do find strange is that people think he’s really good-looking. That part I don’t really get. I do play “As it Was” on repeat though. It’s a bland song but it works for me ha ha. Reply Valerie says: May 23, 2022 at 1:06 pm Honestly, his albums do give that impression. If I had just heard his studio recordings, I probably wouldn’t be as into him as I am. He sounds better live. His voice is much deeper and more versatile than his albums suggest. The difference between Watermelon Sugar on the album and WM on the stage is huge! Reply HL Davis says: May 22, 2022 at 6:02 pm I read that Simon Cowell cultivated a fandom for One Direction that felt entitled to know every detail about the group. Harry Styles and the other members had very little privacy or individual identify as they were coming of age. I think it’s healthy that Harry Styles is trying to carve out a private identify for himself and set boundaries with what he shares At least that is the sense I am getting from reading articles about Harry’s House and why he is keeping his relationship and sexual identify private. He seems to be in a really good space and his career couldn’t be going better too. Reply J. Ferber says: May 22, 2022 at 6:29 pm Agree with you, Lione. All “safe” and well-curated. Reply Paintergurl says: May 22, 2022 at 6:41 pm I see a lot of David Bowie in Harry, artistically. Reply MsGnomer says: May 22, 2022 at 11:09 pm I might be the only one who feels violated/ill by this choice to appear on BHG. He and his team were already beginning to create a lifestyle brand with Pleasing, and this just confirms it for me. It might be good music, but I need some kind of artistic integrity to keep me interested… An image of Elvis on the cover of Good Housekeeping comes to mind. :/ Reply MsGnomer says: May 23, 2022 at 6:26 am I am in a wait and see situation with this. We all kind of know that HS has adopted queer/camp as a personal style. There is a lengthy and important history of camp, and to have this white male appropriating/using important pieces of queer identity and NOT be out feels icky. . I have read so much about his gay baiting, so I doubt I am saying anything new. It’s a tough issue he may find himself stumbling over. Reply Case says: May 23, 2022 at 10:18 am He seems like a nice guy, but I agree he’s heavily curated and ultimately quite bland. It seems to be a commonly-held opinion that he and Olivia are more for PR than an actual relationship, and I feel like he never really *says* anything. He’s well-packaged for consumption, I guess. Even his new album was quite boring to me. Reply Jferber says: May 23, 2022 at 11:36 am MSG, this was what I was trying to say and couldn’t. Thanks. Reply Dillesca says: May 23, 2022 at 4:17 pm I’m 34, and for a long time, I just didn’t care either way about Harry Styles. I wasn’t in the core demographic of 1D, for a start. But in the past couple years, I’ve liked music and have appreciated how genuine he seems to be. He’s adorable. Reply Commenting Guidelines Read the article before commenting. 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Harry has a big gay following so that creates that kind of interest.

I was feeling very confused about my gender identity and like I needed to figure it out. When before I had always been happy just being me. And one day I was just driving and thinking and all the sudden I thought – Harry would accept me just the way I am. And that legitimately changed everything. Because if Harry can I can. And not having anything concrete is ok. This was months ago and I’m just as content as when it first hit me. So thank you Harry Styles.

aww, I love this! it’s true, you don’t have to pick a label. just be you & be awesome. = )

@Moxylady, It must be exhausting with all of the labels there today. I’m very proud of you, Moxylady. You deserve to be happy with no boundaries placed upon you.

That is so great!! I have a feeling Harry would love that! ❤️❤️

Love that for you! That’s why it’s so important that he’s open about he feels!

Thank you everyone. I have never had a celebrity effect me personally in this way before. It’s strange. But really really good.

“ I think getting some distance from England really helped him figure out some things too – he seems to spend more time in America these days”

England keeps losing all the best Harry’s! You can 100% blame the tabloid culture.

He seems remarkably grounded. I loved what he said about all the success and money being a bonus beyond his expectations. It’s refreshing compared to people who seem to be constantly hustling for more, more, more instead of simply appreciating and enjoying it in the moment.

When you have a ton of money it goes 2 ways. You are either way out there as a try hard and flaunting or you come across as grounded because nothing penetrates your bubble of privilege.

And Harry hustles. You never stop. He just does it from a better marketing angle imo. Coming off “relatable” sells more than coming off “elite.”

Or…he’s just maturing into a down to earth guy. Likely a combo of all of it.

Maybe, but the same way the average person matures is not the same way the rich or famous mature. This has been studied. The bubble of privilege is real. And many, many times a person stops or slows maturing at the age they become famous. I’m sure he’s self aware for a 20something.

I think he hustles because he has the opportunity to do so. If the chances are there, you might as well take them. I do believe him when he says everything is a bonus. He started off on a tv show with a bunch of aspiring boy-banders. He probably didn’t expect to be this successful. I know I’m surprised by it. Or that he’s with Olivia Wilde.

A big yes to let’s quit hanging labels on people. People change, age, evolve and labels just complicate the process.

I hang no labels. I understand some do and others feel an obligation to address it for reasons, but many times I wonder if it’s for educational purposes or self promotion. Usually the lines are clear and almost always it’s none of my business.

I don’t know why Harry feels a need to address this as he does, but it feels like self promotion to be inclusive to his fan bases.

@ Wiglet Watcher, sorry if I seemed to be answering your comment. I was answering in response to his comment in the post. Did not intend to be offensive to you.

Julia k I can’t see a comment where you were offensive at all☺️

Yea it’s not just the labels, but the overly performative, it’s all about ME-ness of declaring every minute detail of one’s life online.

Joan Jett has been saying this for years; she refuses to be defined by her sexuality and does not (and never has) discussed it – she feels the issue would become more about her instead of her music. He’s smart – he’s doing the same thing. Good for him – some things are ok to be private to you. He’s learned that just because he’s famous, he does not have to put it all out on the table.

I always find the privacy conversation tricky when it comes to these artists that sell their private life through their songs. It’s not that I deny anyone who ever put a clue in their song the right to privacy or that I cannot understand that they have a desire to control which parts are open to the public. The problem I have is that he is so willing to put his partners’ business on display in his songs and I always think to myself that he should have a more nuanced view on that given his own experiences. Particularly because at least he makes money from his music but what do the girls get except for hate from his crazy fans?

Yes, it’s something I think of as the cruelty of the artist. Doesn’t matter what kind of artist – everything and everybody that touches their lives becomes fuel for their art. It’s natural – you’re inspired by what’s around you – but, artists put their art first. I suppose if they didn’t we wouldn’t have art.

There is an Agatha Christie’s book “the Hollow” that touches on this theme. I always find it fascinating.

I’m a brand new Harry Style’s fan. I love his new album and he does seem like a nice, interesting guy. I don’t care if it’s an act although I don’t think it is. Too many people are out there being complete jerk-offs right now. I love his thoughtful/playful/inclusive energy.

“Too many people are out there being complete jerk-offs right now.” So true; it’s right under and over our noses too. Don’t Say Gay biddies run all over the place online and off, looking for LGBTQ discussions to center themselves in with performative punching down. The meh meh meness of making those conversations all about the pronouns, queer imagery, and queer experiences their heterosexual ears are tired of hearing about is so illogical when there are outlets for that bigotry. Dear diary. Dear church stall. Dear kleenex. Dear stepdaughter’s discarded kotex pack. Something. Hell, they could even take their unwanted, freshly-washed-as-of-last-Monday- legs and everything else to a therapist’s office and ask for help to work on all that hate. But instead they’d rather troll queer and liberal spaces, manipulate curriculums, ban books, and weaponize the government. We’re coming up on pride month too, so they’d better get used to it.

I’m with you a @Twin Falls. Not overly familiar with his music. Know some. He seems like a fun guy that has no problem being inclusive to everyone. I don’t get the feeling it’s an act. He seems to send out the genuine vibe of I’ll be me, you be you. We’re good unless you’re an @sshole.

I enjoy his music. He has a few happy, bouncy songs I really like. Don’t care about his sex life, his PR image. Glad to see he is doing well, most boy bander members careers end with their band.

He seems to be having a good run, his new vinyle #3, Harrys House is getting good reviews.

Good point! If someone is being performative to sell themselves l, their image, I’d much rather performative inclusiveness than performative divisiveness. It at least moves the needle of “norms” in a better direction.

He seems like a good role model/spokesperson for Gen Z and beyond, normalizing all sorts of different fashion choices and the fact that the fashion doesn’t has to match your gender or sexuality label and the fact that you don’t even have to claim out loud to the world a certain label, you might not even have a label for yourself in private. Let people wear and do what they want to do. I feel like we’ve come a bit of a way with “allowing” those who have certain labels to wear certain things—like “oh that person is gay or gender fluid so they’re allowed to wear crop tops or girly outfits sometimes”—but it would be great if we could get to a place where 1) anyone can wear whatever they want and we don’t assume that someone we have known as a cis boy his whole life wearing a feminine blouse *must be* either gay or trans and *can’t be* straight or cis, and 2) where wearing something nontraditional doesn’t lead to people asking you to justify why you’re doing that by publicly labeling yourself so that they can understand it. I like the idea that gender and sexuality being fluid is something that we will accept as normal for all people and not just certain people who need to claim that up front and have a specific label they can be identified with.

Amy Too: your comment is spot on!! I 100% agree. Labels can be helpful for some people to express how they see themselves but the expectation shouldn’t be that everyone has to have a label.

100% this. My hope is we as a society move beyond labels to just doing and being.

Exactly what i said! I hope my comment gets posted, even though it’s kind of long.

I see this whole thing as being perpetuated by people who don’t know their history. They’re so obsessed with labeling everything, that anything and anyone that they can’t name is perceived as a threat and something to be cast out. It’s very 1960s. We don’t have to know for sure if someone is gay or straight or what gender they identify as. It’s none of our business, even if they get up on stage in a dress and high heels and wave the pride flag around. All I care about is whether his words line up with his actions. They appear to, and that’s good enough for me.

A very privileged stance for someone who has chosen to only publicly date thin, blobd white women. I wish his former bandmate, Niall Horan, who makes superior music and seems to be a much more authentic human being, received the acclaim and success that has been undeservedly bestowed on Harry.

Is he not dating a women with two children?

A thin, blonde, wealthy white woman with 2 young children that have care. Having children does not really change his pattern. It is a bit weird she was his boss, sought him out to employ him under her as her love interest and then they start dating as her other relationship ended. If a man did this… it would be a field day.

I recommend the excellent poet and fashion icon Alok V Menon on Instagram for people who are interested in someone working to center Black and Brown and enby / trans and people of different bodies / abilities in the gender non conforming space. And by center Alok often means – paid opportunities for work and efforts to increase their safety and joy.

Slow Hands by Niall is a bop. I prefer his music to Harry’s but Harry is the one putting himself out there as a progressive voice and personality more than a musician. It’s a bit Lennon and McCartney post-Beatles, no?

Niall’s second album “Heartbreak Weather” is SO GOOD. It deserved so much more attention and praise than it got. Niall is the better singer but Harry’s got better PR. And I say this as a huge HS fan…

I’m an old and audibly gasped when my new issue of BH&G arrived with HARRY on the cover! My youthful fan girl was still there, buried under decades of jaded gristle. What a joy! Anyway, one part of his profile I found interesting was that he says he’s always been on the go, on tour, making music, and so he’s never had to have any “difficult conversations” with partners/friends. IDK, those conversations have been, at least to me, among the hardest, saddest and sometimes most joyous moments in life. I’m curious to see what he does 10 or 20 years from now and how that changes his music.

I like Harry’s brand a lot and he probably has some savvy PR folks to “curate” said brand. He can appeal to the older folks as a soldier in a WW2 movie (Dunkirk) and to young people with his clothing/jewelry choices and ambiguous sexuality — and even us middle-aged folks who can bop around to his music. The Olivia Wilde relationship is a head-scrather, but he seems to be a grounded, multi-faceted performer with whom a diverse public can identify.

He seems like a good guy. Not seeing the sex appeal though.

I want to say this delicately. With all the “don’t label me” and the cool clothing choices, would it ever be okay for him and his management to see him on a date with another guy? I’m not sure if he’s done that already, so don’t come after me!

Why? So he could prove his sexuality to a bunch of people who most likely wouldn’t believe him anyway? I don’t see that there’s a clear solution here, and it’s because those demanding proof have roiled the waters so much, so that even if he did step out with another man, it would hardly mean anything. He would still be accused of pandering and queerbaiting.

This return to demanding full disclosure is really disturbing. We don’t need to be going backwards here. I don’t like to pin things on entire generations, but in this case, it is mostly younger people (younger millennials and Gen Zers) who seem intent on forcing people to come out or to publicly define themselves. I don’t think that they understand that they’re upholding a dangerous tradition.

Why do we continue to conflate outward appearance with sexuality, and then decry labels and discrimination? Why box people in and accept or shun them based on their ability to fulfill a specific and ever-narrowing set of criteria? Why wonder why coming out is still so difficult for people, regardless of their privilege and profession?

If Harry is straight and wants to wear a dress and paint his nails (and date women), he should be able to without being accused of “tricking us.” If he is not straight, he should not be harassed into coming out. I have a feeling that even if made an announcement tomorrow, he would be branded a liar and a PR hound. Or he wouldn’t be “gay enough.” Or he’d be subject to biphobia. Or they’d be mad that he stayed in the closet for so long. The list goes on. The guy can’t win.

*subjected to. Hurray for suffixes 😂

A big yes to all you say here. As an “old,” I find Harry absolutely so refreshing and lovely (and talented). My kiddo, who is 12 and non-binary, also loves Harry, and I am delighted they have such a positive role model to enjoy. We could argue all day about whether he’s truly being authentic or if it’s a PR put-on to appeal to everyone, but you know what? Who cares? I think what Harry says about sexuality is spot on. Is it simplistic to say it doesn’t matter and that we should all just be ourselves? Yep. And what’s sad about that is that such simple ideas are STILL such a challenge. He seems to get a lot of sh*t for doing things others have done before him, but I think it’s telling that people are still so worked up about it. Just proves we as a society have so much more work to do.

And I agree with you about how at this point Harry just can’t win. Honestly, the best thing to do is just preserve his privacy as best he can and enjoy life. There’s simply no pleasing everyone when it comes to this, and the bigger point is that he shouldn’t have to.

Yeah, I really like him! I’m too old (lol) to have been into 1D, and I think it’s mainly the people who were their target audience at the time are the ones who are criticizing him now. It’s weird, because they should realize that his boy band image was highly controlled, and he couldn’t say or do or wear what he wanted to. And he was like, 16! Of course he’s going to change in his twenties. He’s almost 30. I don’t know why his growing up is taken as a PR tactic. Doing the opposite and staying the same would be!

Valerie, I agree, I’m just wondering why you think genz and millennials (I’m a very young millennial myself) think that way? That’s not the case at all. Reactive forces in our generations? Certainly! But not the majority of us. Would you mind explaining?

Not all of them! I said mostly. I’m 34, so I’m a millennial myself. The people I see accusing him of queerbaiting (please find a new word!) are usually my age or younger. His older fans, who are 40-50+, tend to not make comments to that effect.

To be honest, I had zero idea he was considered fluid. Because he was dating women, I just assumed he was straight. None of what he wears factored into it for me. I just went by who I see him dating. It’s a bit of a shock to me that assuming he was straight was considered the wrong assumption to make.

I don’t think it’s really the wrong assumption to make! He might be a straight guy who loves fashion and playing with gender norms. His detractors are under the impression that gender presentation and sexual preference always go hand-in-hand, which is wrong and surprising to me. They’re usually the biggest champions of fluidity on all fronts. But when it comes to him, his “silence” equals queerbaiting. So weird.

“He had a thing, for a time, for older women…”

He still does. Olivia is 10 years older than him. They’d be considered gross by a lot of people if their roles were reversed, much like Kim and Pete.

He always comes off a bit….bland. It’s like he doesn’t really have any opinions on his own, and the ones he has are all very well “curated”. Superficial, simplistic, “correct”.

Might be because he hasn’t been through a lot of hardship in his life, he sounds like he’s been coasting through life, and therefore never had to do the deep, hard soul searching that comes with real life struggles.

He, or his work, doesn’t really do anything for me personally. Doesn’t excite me and doesn’t provoke me. It’s all…meh..

He says words in interviews with cute photos that are very trendy and a bit detached, and he never really shows you who he is in the depth of himself. Not even through his songs.

He’s just there. Still coasting trough life. Good for him, I guess. But a bit boring. Lacking in soul and intellect. A bit robotic in a strange way. Lol

I agree with this comment. I do like some of his songs. They’re perfect, sugary pop music for driving alone. Good names want to work with him. He can take his pick so his career won’t be slowing down for a little.

When it comes to his sexuality and how he dresses I think back to Billy Porter and how he comes off as genuine while Harry sounds like he’s selling me an image. I wish him well.

I think he is a little bland but I also think that’s why he’s popular.

If he were extremely unique, I don’t think he’d have mass appeal to so many different age ranges.

One thing I do find strange is that people think he’s really good-looking. That part I don’t really get.

I do play “As it Was” on repeat though. It’s a bland song but it works for me ha ha.

Honestly, his albums do give that impression. If I had just heard his studio recordings, I probably wouldn’t be as into him as I am. He sounds better live. His voice is much deeper and more versatile than his albums suggest. The difference between Watermelon Sugar on the album and WM on the stage is huge!

I read that Simon Cowell cultivated a fandom for One Direction that felt entitled to know every detail about the group. Harry Styles and the other members had very little privacy or individual identify as they were coming of age.

I think it’s healthy that Harry Styles is trying to carve out a private identify for himself and set boundaries with what he shares At least that is the sense I am getting from reading articles about Harry’s House and why he is keeping his relationship and sexual identify private. He seems to be in a really good space and his career couldn’t be going better too.

Agree with you, Lione. All “safe” and well-curated.

I see a lot of David Bowie in Harry, artistically.

I might be the only one who feels violated/ill by this choice to appear on BHG. He and his team were already beginning to create a lifestyle brand with Pleasing, and this just confirms it for me. It might be good music, but I need some kind of artistic integrity to keep me interested… An image of Elvis on the cover of Good Housekeeping comes to mind. :/

I am in a wait and see situation with this. We all kind of know that HS has adopted queer/camp as a personal style. There is a lengthy and important history of camp, and to have this white male appropriating/using important pieces of queer identity and NOT be out feels icky. . I have read so much about his gay baiting, so I doubt I am saying anything new. It’s a tough issue he may find himself stumbling over.

He seems like a nice guy, but I agree he’s heavily curated and ultimately quite bland. It seems to be a commonly-held opinion that he and Olivia are more for PR than an actual relationship, and I feel like he never really *says* anything. He’s well-packaged for consumption, I guess. Even his new album was quite boring to me.

MSG, this was what I was trying to say and couldn’t. Thanks.

I’m 34, and for a long time, I just didn’t care either way about Harry Styles. I wasn’t in the core demographic of 1D, for a start. But in the past couple years, I’ve liked music and have appreciated how genuine he seems to be. He’s adorable.

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